Cue the seasoned queers dropping their iced coffees and smacking me across the face.

I did everything to be near her.

A parody of a women’s magazine that will leave you with more questions than answers.

I was fucking ready to slay a relationship. PUT ME IN, COACH!

Was I going to be able to connect with any of this? I’d never been overwhelmed by moose meat before …

My “friend” Hana joked that I was in a relationship with T.V. I laughed at first, to seem normal.